Trains and Whiskey
by MissMandS
Summary: It was funny and sort of fair in a way that he be the one now who wasn't the thief. Well he was a thief, just a less wanted one. It was funny to him that after all these years of losing and then finding the other again he was now the one who spent time waiting and searching with promises of soon. AU. One shot.


Nori adjusts the collar of his shirt and attempts to ignore the sweat trickling down his back. The train station is already a miserable place to be in his opinion and the hot air and the people don't make it any more enjoyable. There are people shoving to get off the train, people pushing to get on, babies crying, children fussing about their clothes being too hot, women searching frantically for tickets and men looking over the platform warily. Nori's tongue flicks out across his lips as he scans the platform. She's not on time which isn't surprising; she's never been one to be on time. She's even late getting off the train.

The first part of Bofur off the train is her very battered suitcases which bounce off the platform. Then one of her booted feet attempting to find purchase as the train whistle lets out a screech. She attempts a jump as the train begins to roll away only for her boots to catch on her skirt. Nori watches with a grimace as Bofur rolls across the ground, landing on her hands and knees with a laugh. She scans the crowd and peers at Nori through long, dark strands of hair that have escaped her braid.

"Well aren't you going to help a poor lady up? I say Nori, your manners haven't changed one bit." Nori helps her stand up and grabs her now even more battered suitcases then the two depart from the platform. Bofur walks cheerfully as if she didn't just take a spill off the train and as if the sweltering heat doesn't bother her in the least.

"I fell asleep on the train and woke up when the conductor demanded to see my ticket. Do ye have a room ready for me?"

"You're never on time Bofur; even when we lived in…You've not changed a bit. Ori has been setting the room up all week. Even put on her prettiest ribbons for your arrival." Bofur's cheeks flush pink but she still smiles, slinging a friendly arm around Nori's shoulders as they walk together. They talk quietly about the others, their family and the others of the company as they make their way towards the inn.

"Bifur's taken up work with the railroads, keeps his mind busy and his hands. He's using the money that he saves up to open up a toy shop. Bombur's working for some rich family as their chef; he's taken a liking to the children's tutor." Bofur prattles on as they pass by the sheriff's office. She slows down and does a double take, looking between the wanted posters plastered on the outside wall and then at Nori.

"I heard about him on the way over here, lots of people talking about him. Someone said that last time he robbed a train full of people; didn't kill anyone but didn't show his face as he did the deed. And then he rode off into the sunset." Nori snorts and pulls the wanted poster off the wall, crumpling it up in his hands.

"It's hard for me to imagine Bilbo as one of the most wanted train robbers in all of the land."

"He's not one of the most wanted train robbers. He _is_ the most wanted train robber in all of the land." One of Dwalin's thick fingered hands comes to rest under Nori's, waiting for the poster back.

"You wouldn't arrest him now would you most honorable sheriff, not one of your own company." Nori doesn't let go of the poster. There's a beat of silence and then Dwalin is sighing as he pulls his hand back towards his waist.

"Let us not forget thief that I arrested you many a times, don't push your luck." Dwalin's growl lacks any real edge and with a flashy smile from Bofur the two are walking again, the wanted poster stuck into Nori's shirt.

* * *

The inn is almost quiet, almost. Dori is behind the counter, frowning as he wipes it down for what Nori suspects is the hundredth time since he got up this morning. Ori is sitting at the counter with a frown, tugging on the ends of her braids which hang around her face.

"I see that Dori has not given up on dwarven styles." Bofur calls. Ori nearly falls over as she spins around, a grin splitting her face apart as she scrambles to get down from the bar stool. She sprints across the floor, skirts gathered up in her arms as she throws herself at Bofur who spins her around with a jovial laugh. Nori steps out of the way as Bofur begins to spin around the room and walks towards the counter where Dori looks on with a slight furrow in his brows.

"I would appreciate it if she did not break anything…And if she did not mention our past lives so openly." Dori hisses under his breath as Bofur flops down at a table where she promptly puts her booted feet up on the table.

"She is just happy to be with Ori again." Nori says quietly as Ori comes up to the counter, cheeks flushed and braids askew.

"Could I have a drink please Dori? Oh, don't give me that look. It's for Bofur." The last part is tacked on shyly. Dori huffs but prepares to get her a drink anyways, grumbling under his breath all the while. If Ori is bothered or even notices she doesn't let on as she takes the drink back to Bofur.

"You remember what Gandalf said, it takes time for some of us to remember our past lives. Thorin will remember eventually."

"Yes well, I wish that he would remember right now." Dori lifts his head and gives Nori a small, almost smile as he nods back towards the doors. "I believe that we have a couple rooms upstairs in need of cleaning. Would you mind taking care of that while I chaperone these two?" Nori avoids looking at Bofur and Ori who are now giggling and leaning close together and talking in soft tones as he heads out the door.

It has been a very long time since he saw Bilbo; their last time together was ironically enough on a train. Nori had been searching the luggage for something that could fit in his pocket when the knife pressed ever so slightly into his back. There had been no robbery that day but lots of fallen and probably damaged luggage as he was held up against a wall by the taste of whiskey flavored kisses. His parting gift had been the knife and with it, some money to smooth over the damages. And then Bilbo was gone.

Nori thinks of this now as he goes into room after room. It was funny and sort of fair in a way that he be the one now who wasn't the thief. Well he was a thief, just a less wanted one. It was funny to him that after all these years of losing and then finding the other again he was now the one who spent time waiting and searching with promises of soon. That's not to say he wasn't wanted and that Bilbo didn't spend time waiting and searching for him now while clinging to promises of soon.

Nori could count a few places that he was wanted in for various crimes, all of which he was quite proud of. He didn't have enough fingers to count off the numbers of women who had lost fancy coats and fine jewelry on trains thanks to his sticky fingers and their inattentiveness. He stares at a fine necklace now which rests on the pillow of an unmade bed. There's something familiar about the delicate chain but then again he's snagged many a delicate chains off the necks and wrists of women all over the world so it could just very well be his imagination again. Still he slips it into his pocket and reaches for the blankets.

As he's preparing to pull the blankets up he feels the tip of a dull blade pressing against his throat, just enough to break the skin. And then there's a hand slipping around his waist and reaching into his pocket for the necklace.

"Hands up thief." Nori whispers and turns into whiskey flavored kisses and warm hands that push him back onto the bed.

* * *

And then they proceed to have the raunchiest, dirtiest sex that the west has ever seen with Bilbo topping...


End file.
